If you feel like you’re going bat shit crazy in the autumn of your cycle, don’t worry ladies! Like the season, it ends and makes way for the new beginnings AND we get the chance of these opportunities EVERY month.
I LOVE being ‘on it!’ I LOVE being quick, dynamic, high energy (both mentally and physically). I LOVE feeling good about myself, my relationships, my jobs and my work. I LOVE IT!
This month, lovely ladies, I have been particularly high. I really felt myself step into my power, my flow, and had it recognised by many. I felt like a rock star who has given the performance of their life, received a standing ovation and want back out for the encore! I felt amazing!
And then Autumn came
And then, Autumn came, my Autumn, my Autumnal pre-bleed started and that is not good. It begins……. “I must have fucked up somewhere this month – I am to blame.” And then I don’t feel remotely sociable, I don’t flow during conversations and I am second guessing everything! I am confused by how people are responding to me and moving away from me. I must be boring: FFS I’m boring myself!!
I beat myself up: “I don’t want to talk to anybody, what’s wrong with me?” I’m tired and restless but I don’t feel like I’ve done enough to be tired so then I feel guilty! I am in limbo (my least favourite place). I‘m tired but not enough to rest, I’m energised but not enough to ‘do’ and I’ve got brain power but not enough to actually produce.
I need to escape, escape and put myself first. I need to quieten down, pull back but then that bloody guilt starts again, my thoughts collide: “I’ve let people down”, “I’m not good enough!”, “what the hell is wrong with me?” “It seems like everyone else can do this shit, why can’t I?”
Ohhhhhhh, and those bloody emotions, sneaky little blighters! They’ve behaved for the rest of the month, but now they’ve popped up with a vengeance: BAM! They’re loud, all-consuming and threatening to overtake any kind or rational thought. Those unrelenting fraudulent, female fucking failures!Tara Perlaki, founder of the Feminine Space
Ohhhhhhh, and those bloody emotions, sneaky little blighters! They’ve behaved for the rest of the month, but now they’ve popped up with a vengeance: BAM! They’re loud, all-consuming and threatening to overtake any kind or rational thought. Those unrelenting fraudulent, female fucking failures!
Suddenly I am choking, I just cannot deal with this! I want to cry yet the feeling is not strong enough, not important enough to cry over maybe. So I am just heavy, pushed down by those fraudulent fears and so it goes on…
But this is only how I feel now ladies: for these few days from 28, I am at my most moveable, most erratic, my most turbulent. However, it can all change in a heartbeat, Autumn is not stable. It is, by its season’s comparison, volatile, changeable and unpredictable. Know it, welcome it!!
I share my Autumn thoughts for you to know that they are normal and to recognise them. As, recognising this, ladies is both important and empowering; I understand that my Autumn is erratic and that this is totally okay. I am allowed to be one thing one minute and another the next. I give myself permission to be whatever I need to be and in learning this and welcoming my truth, I make damn sure that I am fully prepared for my next Autumn.
So when you feel despair, in your Autumn ladies, you will be able to know that this moment will pass. Be it a second, hour or day, it will pass. As sure as night follows day, the seasons of your cycle continue onwards: you are still alive and you are still fabulous. Celebrate this ladies, join with me as we enjoy and embrace our bat shit crazy days!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: TARA PERLAKI – YOUR FEMININE FLOW CHAMPION!
Tara works with women to educate them with positive, helpful and healthy ways in which they can work with their fertility, their periods and embracing their femininity.
If you’ve found this blog to be helpful, feel free to hop across and have a read through some of the others that are on the website or check out my latest courses here.
Also, I have The Feminine Space Facebook page, which will be great for you to ‘Like’ and keep up to date with the latest goings on from The Feminine Space.
P.S.: As an extra little special treat, I have also set up a private Facebook group called “Connect to your Feminine Flow” – come and join us! It’s a small, intimate group, that’s been created as a safe space for you to get curious about your body – after all, it’s the only one you have!